I hope you choke on it.

It's been very quiet on this blog of late, I guess because I've been finishing coursework and whatnot, and because I've just had a bit of a block in terms of having anything to say. However, the opportunity arose last night, when I wrote a couple of reviews for Clash that were too late to be included in the magazine (the deadline was last Friday), so I thought I'd post them; not because the bands I reviewed are any good, but because they are spectacularly bad, so you might get some small amusement from reading someone slating them:

Sgt. Wolfbanger – Think Inside the Box.

S.A.C Records.

The quality of Sgt. Wolfbanger's debut album is, sadly, easy to predict without a single listen; they've supported McFly. They have a song called “Ctrl Alt Retreat”. If you were to buy their album, you'd find the lyrics for this song printed inside, which include the rhyming dictionary fest, “now pull me from the mire, my eyes are pits of fire, never will I aspire, you've nothing to admire, not the type to inspire...” (it goes on like that, but I won't bore you further). Whether or not these points put you off, there's probably little purpose in reading the rest of this review; it's a foregone conclusion. If this description sounds appealing to you so far, chances are you aren't going to listen to reason. However, suffice to say, the music is the type of dull, uninspired and idiotic pop punk that you'd expect.

0.5/10 (for bravery).

Three tracks: If you want a laugh, listen to Take Me Away, which includes the line “when he buys you a drink, I hope you choke on it”.

Dig this? Dig Deeper: McFly, Busted, Noise Next Door.

Hadouken! - For the Masses.

Surface Noise Recordings.

In the press release for this album, Hadouken's lead singer James Smith name checked the Prodigy, admitting that he feels Hadouken! are due some chart success as they are “cut from the same cloth.” Immediately, listening to this album, alarm bells began to ring in my head; it seemed like Hadouken! aren't similar to the Prodigy; rather, they are actually trying to be the Prodigy, in the most cynical, shallow and brainless way possible; remember the part in Peep Show, where we hear the song Jeremy has been working on (“This is outrageous! This is contagious!”)? Well that's kind of what this album sounds like, except that along with the dumb chanting about drumming drums and cracking craniums, shouted over the generic dance music, James Smith also seems to be aping Dizzee Rascal's vocal style, to give the album the best chance of popular acceptance.

1/10.

Three tracks: It doesn't matter, they all sound the same.

Dig this? Dig Deeper: The Prodigy?

As well as ripping into horribly unconsidered music, last night I watched Hunger, which was excellent, if not particularly Christmassy. It was very quiet and reflective, and the parts that were noisy seemed absolutely deafening, in sharp contrast to the silence of the rest of the film.



The quote from Thatcher at the beginning of the trailer is particularly interesting; I find it hard to believe people swallowed her bullshit so easily. Obviously I'm not advocating the bombings in London and elsewhere by the IRA, but how can she justify the Falklands War if she thinks there is no such violence as political violence, only criminal?

Anyways, check that fillum if you get the chance.